Food for thought: the road to recovery begins in your mind.
I don’t know about you, but my relationship with food used to feel bipolar. I would swing from one extreme to the next- celebrating happiness by “treating” myself to something delicious (aka: inhaling unwarranted amounts of whatever food I was craving) OR doing the exact opposite… living in a highly restrictive, goal oriented, or “determined” state of mind. This often manifested by attempting to eat as clean or as little as possible. Depending on my mood, I would sway from gorging to avoiding, with no grey-area in between.
Needless to say, I wanted to give you a little food for thought: the road to recovery begins in your mind. Focus on getting your mind healthy and your body will follow.
Trust me, I know it’s not an overnight process my any means, but it’s worth the work. We are living creatures with complex minds- so I would recommend being open to multiple forms of self care.
For myself, I invested in the following:
Spending time with God in prayer (also asking for prayer) and journaling.
Enrolling in weekly therapy.
Obtaining a gym membership.
If you can, opt for a personal trainer at your gym- this helped me build a routine, discipline, teach me how to exercise for my body type and was a source of motivation for me! Highly recommend.Spending time outside, feeling small in a BIG space. This might sound odd, but whenever I allowed myself to feel “small” in nature, I noticed my waves of anxiety or overwhelm decrease quickly.
Keeping up with regular hygiene and maintenance (this can be in the form of hair cuts, shape ups, nail appointments, waxing, doc check-ups- those little things that keep you feeling fresh).
Having inspirational notes or quotes around your home (it’s all about keeping up the positivity!)
Do a MAJOR kitchen clean out, eliminating all tempting foods (especially if binging is an issue) and keep it that way. If you must buy chips or cracker type snacks… pay the extra few bucks to get the single serving sizes portioned out, helps to avoid binging.
Spend time with friends and loved ones (but without centering our time together around dining or drinking- find activities to do together instead).
Allowing myself time to feel my feelings. This can come in the form of crying, napping, creating art or allowing yourself to watch a favorite tv show… it might not be apart of your scheduled plan for the day, but allow it to interrupt (temporarily)!
Temporary “fixes” that should be avoided when dealing with pain (notice the word “temporary”… it will help for a moment, but delay you in the long run):
Drinking or partying excessively.
This signifies the desire to not think of problems, to not feel emotions, and it’s a temporary escape from reality. Unfortunately, those same feelings will revisit you the next morning (and most likely with a headache).Casual sex, hooking up, or being intimate with a stranger or an ex.
Experiencing extreme feelings of loneliness, overwhelm, or self hate can easily lead us to crave validation, comfort, and hope. It’s important to keep in mind that seeking to achieve those feelings through intimacy with another person will not solve the root of the problem. A temporary moment of pleasure (specifically with an individual who is not a committed partner) can lead to regret, embarrassment, shame, an STD, or maybe unplanned pregnancy. In the end, casual sex may end up adding on another layer to the emotional distress you are already working on sorting through.Not listening to your gut instinct.
Somehow the body knows before the brain does! I’m not sure of the science behind it physically (spiritually, I believe it’s the Holy Spirit working) but I can tell you from experience that I am always thankful for the times I’ve listened to my gut. You’ll know it when you feel it, because it often defies logic in the moment. Quickly obey, because you are often being saved from something.Overindulging in foods (both in quantity and over time).
This typically results when anxiety is rearing its ugly head, because overindulging is equivalent to seeking pleasure or comfort. It could also stem from being too controlling or rigid with your diet, causing your mind to want to rebel (and then accidentally treating that particular indulgence as if it may be the last time you see it).Not eating for long periods of time, severe diet or food restriction.
I’m not talking about intermittent fasting, I’m referencing the type of restriction that stems from feeling out of control. By attempting to “regain” control (in the form of severely restricting food groups or food entirely) we are essentially participating in self inflicted harm. This limitation (which many lie to themselves labeling it as “motivation”) will backfire because you will eventually need nourishment and your body will be ravishing for food.Shopping (or window shopping!) and spending more money than your budget allows.
For myself, this went back to the concept of “fantasy”. It was so much more fun to fantasize wearing new clothes or makeup to (insert an event or reason here) than it is to think about my present feelings. It’s important to be mindful of this trap, because you don’t want your finances to take an unnecessary hit!Constantly needing to be around another person or not wanting to be alone for long periods of time.
Trust me when I tell you, THIS IS A HARD ONE! Ugh, I will admit- of this entire list, this one was the most challenging for me. What I’ve learned in overcoming this desire was that (at the root) I didn’t love myself. I had to learn how to fight this battle because I can not escape ME… I live with me! haha. Being able to be my own friend and support system frees me from being overly dependent on others (aka: relationships remain strong and healthy).Taking drugs (legal or illegal) to self medicate or escape reality.
It doesn’t matter the form… if you are taking a substance to daydream, relax, or sleep the day away- it’s not good. If your body’s natural response to stress is to sleep, by all means… go for it! I just want to encourage you to not take additional substances that might be harmful to your mind or overall health.Watching the Food Network (or any tv shows that triggers you).
I want to be clear that I am not dismissing Food Network’s content by any means- it’s a channel I used to watch regularly! However, during the midst of my healing I discovered that this channel served no purpose for me. Instead, it tempted me to think about foods I couldn’t eat and to crave things I wasn’t originally thinking about. Once I noticed this repeating thought pattern, I quickly cut it out of my routine. Out of sight, out of mind!Overexercising or creating “projects” for myself.
There was a point in time where I exercised 4+ hours in a day. If I wasn’t exercising, then I was finding large-scale projects that I “suddenly” needed to work on. This typically came in the form of physical work as well- painting my apartment, building furniture, reorganizing, etc. I would work my body obsessively (and unknowingly) until physical exhaustion. Looking back, this was during a time I felt immense pain from a breakup. My coping mechanism was to release the tension- and get moving! It’s very unhealthy and downright dangerous. Sticking to an exercise routine is great, but not at the expense of simply trying to avoid feeling intense emotions.
Additional thoughts to ponder or consider as you are working through healing the pain that’s related to food:
What main emotions are you feeling, in regards to struggling with food? Identify them and list why (this will help get to the root cause which will allow for chance to transpire).
Do you notice certain behavior patterns associated to specific foods, events, or emotions? Identify them and list why.
Using the answers from question 2, list out NEW outcomes that you would like to try.
Example: I tend to get anxious right after eating dinner and I typically force myself to throw up. New outcome: After dinner, I will immediately get up and take my dog for a walk. I will change my mindset by changing my behavior and what I focus on. By the time I am done with my walk I will no longer be anxious or thinking about vomiting my meal.Make a list of foods that trigger you (will cause you to either binge/purge OR may tempt you to derail from your dedicated diet). This is helpful to write out so you can better prep your kitchen and mindset! Being aware of these is KEY for healing.
Make a list of foods you can have on hand when you leave your house for period of time (whether it be to a friend’s house or simply out shopping). By adding this to your grocery list, you can feel a sense of comfort and control knowing that in a pinch you will have something to snack on (and will be less likely to purchase foods that are convenient or may upset your tummy).
Look into your family history. Learning more about generational patterns (both physical and psychological) can be very interesting and be good to know for your own health. Make sure to inform your doctor of your findings as well.